If you’re gonna go on my blog everyday, you might as well put something in my ask box… or at least follow me. I know that you come on here all the time… it’s no secret.

Feelings suck.
Having one emotion is hard as it is and now I have 10 ambivalent emotions about 4 different people.
Then add on the bipolar disorder.
Plus the anxiety attacks.
Don’t forget depression!
What do you get when you add all of it together? Instability. A cracked glass that’s ready to shatter at any point.
I’ve been telling myself that I am happy. I’m not sure if it’s a lie or if it’s true. Or perhaps I’ve been lying so much that I’ve started to believe that it is true. Whatever the case, I’m a ticking time bomb and one of these days…


i dont want the d. i want the a. i want to pass this class

(Source: may-13th)

(Source: emmisnotshortforemma)

Updates July 28th

1. NEW PASTOR. I’M SCARED TO DEATH AND EXCITED BEYOND WHAT MY MIND CAN HANDLE. Everyone has been ready for someone new. I was at the interview and he seems pretty alright. I started getting comfortable around him and I couldn’t stop giggling. Hm. I wonder what Andy’s reaction will be hahaha

2. I want to play the piano better but I don’t want to take lessons

3. “We’re just friends; we’re not dating. I just like kissing him” - How To Deal (2003) Mandy Moore gets me.

4. Cousins are leaving for Korea on Wednesday. Yas. James is leaving for Korea on Wednesday too. Nooooooooooo.

5. Chokers are back in style?

6. I ran out of money and this is a problem. I have to buy Jamie’s birthday present and there are so many things I want to buy. why why why. Help. Someone buy me things and food.

7. Another thing about Jamie’s party. What is going on with it…. *sigh

8. I like singing and I wish I was better at it.

9. Eating lunch alone isn’t fun anymore. I need some hagwon friends.

10. The time has come to stand for all we believe in. So I for one am gonna give my praise to you. Today, it’s all or nothing.

11.  ”flowers from the bae” bothered everyone hahaha like 6 people asked me about the bae and why he is giving me so many flowers.

12. Talk to me. I’m bored

13. “I don’t care if he has a girlfriend as long as it’s not this girl” also known as “why tf doesnt he like me anymore”

14. Someone recommend me good music.

update on update: God is good! Just received some money! Get ready Kate Spade, I’m coming soon!

I crave your legs intertwined with mine, I crave nothing but you, in the most simplest of ways.
—(via callmefranz36)

if you haven’t seen this picture yet i’m sorry

if you haven’t seen this picture yet i’m sorry

(Source: fresh--princess-of-dickbutt)

For such a long time, all I ever thought about was going to another place. Going somewhere far, far away where nobody could reach me. I even thought about just ending my life, just thinking that maybe that would be the farthest place I can go from all the pain and torture of this earth. But as sucky as my week was, when i entered my church doors, everything seemed to change. My church wasn’t just a sanctuary of worship and prayer: our Father has made it a place where happiness could be stored. A dwelling of peace, joy, and purity. A comforting home of laughter, kindness, and just genuine love. I think that’s exactly what God wanted from us: love. Love for Him, love for each other, and love for the things around us. And at Nairi, we’ve got that by the bucketloads. I’m not saying that our church is perfect because no church really is. But the Nairi youth group has done something for me that I can’t explain. All I know is that these people are some of the most amazing in the world; amazing enough to make me want to stay alive.
I love you guys. Thank You.
—Letter I wrote to my youth group anonymously at 2013 summer retreat; when david read it aloud, everyone thought someone else had written it

New pastor in about a week……………………

Am I ready for this? Are we ready for this?

God, I just want to lift all this up to you. I’m scared. I keep pretending that I’m fearless but you know that I’m not. These bandaids won’t hold forever. I need some recovery. I need you more and more each day. I promised myself to you and I’m not backing out on this because you’ve never once failed me. I owe my life to you because you gave your life to not only me but also my friends, my family, everyone I know and love. Friday marks the seventh month that I’ve been set free.I just want to thank you for these past couple of months. It hasn’t been easy but with you by my side, I feel like I can conquer anything. Thanks for everything!t