Two favorites- Beenzino + burger
I loved my free last year. I mean I hated that I had no friends and that I didn’t have first period or last period but it was a good free. No friends meant that I was forced to do homework without distractions. Plus, David and Lindsay had art at that period and I could always go to them for companionship.
I tried to pull David out during my free today but he has AP chem during that slot, which means I can’t just ask him to leave. He had asked me if something was wrong but I said I just wanted to talk to him. I did want to talk to him but there was something wrong. There were a lot of things wrong.
Like damn, I missed him. And something in my veins was boiling with anger and I was just upset and I needed him to give me a gigantic hug. The kind that I always pretend to fight off but actually kind of enjoy.
I’m tired. I ran a race today (pretty well if I say so myself) and I have minimal homework. Idk for someone who takes three honors classes and two AP’s, runs cross country, and practices piano and drums everyday, I have a lot of free time.
Eh. i guess more time for writing! Oh and coding which is actually hella fun.
Really craving some chicken fingers today. I got panera for lunch and all i had was a salad. Without chicken which is the probably the sadest thing ever.
9 Months clean.
Praise the lord.
reminder: don’t send david 30 messages in the middle of the night
Don’t forget that sometimes things fall apart and taping them back together may hurt more than throwing them out.
I finally had dinner with some of the school girls last night. I literally have to initiate all friendship with them. I’m okay with it but I don’t love it. There are a lot of things I do love about them. We do have some common interests and they have some funny stories. They’re definitely not my Jennie or David but I like them enough.
So glad to have today off from school. Heading out soon to pick up Jennie and go to see Jamie. I asked Ashley to hangout with us but she was pretty against it. I’m not entirely sure why.
Going to visit Jane tomorrow at school and then six flags on saturday for cross country race.
Then of course, the dreaded Sunday.
The rain outside has really got me missing Michael today.I hope he’s been doing well this past month. And Josh. I haven’t seen him in over a year and I haven’t really talked to him for a couple of months. And James. Just because I always miss him.
Song of the day: Laughter Lines - Bastille
| the magic begins |
favorite movie - goblet of fire
The crowds have all gone. A man walks through the rubble kicking at things. He casts a spell which causes a bright flash and a large ghostly skull forms in the sky with a snake crawling from it. The man grins evilly, clearly demented. Harry stirs and witnesses the man standing there. Harry runs. The familiar voices of Ron and Hermione are calling for him.
me on my way to deliver a kiss to u
Becoming dependent on Andy has left me completely detached from David and while that may seem like a perk, I’m kind of upset about it.
I should not be dependent on him.
I should not be dependent on anyone at all.
But I know that I’m unstable and I need support. After all, how often do I actually trust people anyways?
I see David in school every day but seeing someone doesn’t relieve the feeling of missing them. I want to walk with him to starbucks. I want to eat lunch with him in upstairs A hallway. I want to lie on his bed and tell him my weird dreams. I want to talk about running away together; I want to watch movies together.
I don’t miss him like I miss other people. I miss other people and my bones ache. I miss him and I just feel stupid.
Song of the day: No 1 Party Anthem - Arctic Monkeys